Registered? Check! Swollen feet? Check!

So my big sister has offered to throw me a baby shower. I hadn't expected anyone to throw me one since this is my second. However, my sister and my mom were both adament that I get a baby shower this time around. The believe that this situation (a new and REAL marriage, a completely different and responsible Daddy, a new and excited in-law family, etc.) - just a totally legitimate, totally different pregnancy experience than with my first. I get it. Hopefully those invited will too. This baby boy means so much to me, Drew and the rest of my family. His pending arrival has been this ray of sunshine, this glimer of hope to a family that has had a lot to deal with the last several years - most recently my brother's unexpected divorce. News of my pregnancy came within a few weeks of my brother's not-so-wonderful news... it has been the something positive for us to focus on. So this baby shower means a lot to me... and to my family. It means so much more than giving gifts. We tend to think that all new beginnings deserve all sorts of celebrations. Drew is so excited to be expecting his first (biological) child, and I want the experience of all of it to be just as it would be if it were my first baby. and Matthew has certainly been loving the ride too... As Drew and I registered the other day at Babies R Us, we pushed Matthew along with us in the cart and asked his opinion on what he thinks his little brother might like. He was very helpful. Drew seemed to enjoy the process as well. The only thing he was pretty adament about was the diaper bag. He didn't like the ones I had picked out on Gap.com (saying they were ugly and too girly for a man to carry around), so he picked out this fun orange and grey hobo diaper bag. It's really cool actually! So, registering is done... next project? Turning the already "baby painted" computer room into baby Will's room at the end of the month.
I've also had to say hello to some pretty swollen feet and ankles. This (cooler) week, they haven't been as bad as they were last week when we had all that hot and humid weather here. This weekend is supposed to be hot though. Retaining water is what happens to this Mama come the 3rd trimester (which I am 2 short weeks away from! woot!). People keep asking me if the hot weather has bothered me yet and throwing me mini pity parties telling me how sorry they feel for me being pregnant in the summer... Really? Don't you know how badly I've wanted this prenancy? I may complain, but I'll be fine. I'll have the most amazing prize at the end. And if I do have to complain, I'll just complain to my mom - she gets it - she had my brother in mid-August of '77, which apparently was one of the hottest on record in Milwaukee. Besides, Matthew likes to squirt me with the hose to cool me off! My neighbor across the street (who is due in early December) just got a pool, and will gladly let me sit and cool off when I need to...
I say all this now... lets see what my blog posts look like come July and August...

Seeking the Truth... Keeping the Faith...

This has been my motto.... for the last 4 years anyways. I've been through A LOT. More than most of you even realize. Today, I find myself incedibly lucky to be in the place that I am. Happily married to a man that I truly adore, with a healthy and beautiful 4 year old, pregnant with baby number two, a nice house and living in a city that I absolutely love. My life is far from perfect... I have my bad days, believe me... but most importantly, I find myself deep down happy. If you would have asked me 4 years ago if I would've thought my life would be the way it is today, I would have shaken my head and probably broken down in tears. The spring/summer of 2006 was my lowest point. I had made a decision to leave my husband at the time because of myself seeking the truth of who he really was. I was a 24 year old mom of an adorable 6 month old. I had a job that could barely pay my bills (let alone all the legal fees!) There were people that didn't believe me. There were people that would willingly pass along the rumors about me - how was I "crazy". For what? For leaving a man that was deceitful, untrustworthy, heartless and incapable of love? I had to push past all that nasty stuff and focus on what I knew to be true in my heart. At a mere 24 years old, I did my own investigating, and found out what I knew to be the truth - even though it hurt.... a ton! I had a lot of support from my family - they are a huge reason I am where I am today. Throughout all the turmoil, I kept the faith. I believed. I had hope. I had to have faith that everything happens for a reason. God has a plan. I believed that one day I would have everything that I wanted, and deserved. I showed resilience. I knew deep down that good things would happen to me... and slowly, but surely, they did. I took risks in love. I put myself out there. I had patience. I continued to believe. Going through the bad things, makes the good things that much more sweet.
I still need to remind myself to keep the faith. There will forever be reminders of what I went through... and recently, those reminder get thrown in my face a lot. Many of those reminders are hard to swallow. The things that are plastered across the news on TV... they are hard to hear... but I continue to keep the faith. I am ever so greatful that I knew to seek the truth several years ago. If I hadn't, my life would be tremendously different right now, and undoubtedly, I wouldn't be as happy as I am. I have many people to thank for the roles they played in helping me get to where I am now. You know who you are. I love you... and thank you.

As my husband continues to tell me... onward and upward!

Fantastic Memorial Day weekend

This past weekend was awesome.... spectacular... fantastic. I was with my favorite people, doing things that I love: eating, relaxing, tailgating, baseball game watching, beachin' it, getting manicures and eating some more. My family got to get aquainted with my brothers "new" girlfriend, Lauren, whom we all really enjoy. She's got a lot of energy, and all the kids just love her! To top it off, I had my 24 week appointment yesterday, and guess what? I've only gained 3 lbs. in the last four weeks! So now, my OBGYN thinks I'm right back on track where I should be. Feels like I gained 10 though - but that's probably because Will has been making himself quite comfortable up near my rib cage, so he just feels bigger, and longer!

Heres a few of my favorite pictures from the holiday weekend... I hope yours was as good as

mine!

Here's hubby with Matthew. Any candid of the two of them playing is usually a favorite of mine. Here's a candid of the 3 of us as we were just about to walk into Miller Park for the game. Good belly shot too! My big brother and Lauren walking into the game. Matthew, me and Drew at the Brewer game. A shot of Baby bump and I along Lake Michigan. The cousins - Julia, Matthew, Maggie and Joe. Testing out Lake Michigan! My little guy gazing. In the paddle boat with my mom, Julia, and Maggie. Me and hubby during dinner at Maxie's Southern Comfort.

That's all for now... I have some topics that I have been thinking about, so within the next few days, I'll give you more food for thought....

My son, the male fashionista.

That is what I call my son... He has such a hard time in the mornings (heck, any of the 4-5 times per day that he changes clothes) figuring out what he wants to wear. And I swear, he's never satisfied with the way his clothes look, and therefore, that's why he changes so much. This morning, as I was trying to help him get dressed, he was getting upset because he didn't have a clean shirt that matched his red basketball shorts. "How about a grey shirt?" I ask him. "Nooooo, Mommy, that doesn't MATCH!" I take a deep breath. "How about this really cool Cars one with red in it?" I respond. "No, Mom. I don't like that shirt today." ::I start screaming inside my head:: Oh, I love this little boy to pieces, but my goodness.... There's got to be a way to get him to calm down about his clothes. This is driving me batty!
I mentioned his clothing obsession to his preschool teacher at his parent teacher conference, and she giggled and said "isn't that normally a girl thing?" Exactly what I think. Is this normal for a 4 1/2 year old boy to be so obsessed with clothing and matching? (more so with matching people than anything. ie: he gets upset if I tell him to wear different shoes than his Toy Story shoes to school because he won't match his BFF Jacob.) Also, alot of the size 4 t-shirts a wee bit too small, so I bought him some 5's. Well, he's unhappy with how long the sleeves are. And if the shirt in general is too long, he says he feels like he's wearing a dress, so he tucks it in and usually ends up looking like a Grandpa with his pants hiked way up. I should remind myself that at least he doesn't want to wear enormous clothing like some of the "thug-like" teens these days. And, to some extent, he should care about his appearance - that way he's more likely to take care of himself as he gets older. But, I don't want him to obsess so much about how he dresses. Really, its about WHO he is and not what he LOOKS like. But how do you teach that to a 4 year old? Whenever he gets upset because he won't match Jacob at school, I tell him "But you're not Jacob. You're Matthew. You are your own special person."
Let it be known that I have no problem letting him dress up in his Packers or Badger (or, eeekk, Minnesota Gophers) football uniforms. Or sometimes he wants to dress up in his Buzz Lightyear and Woody costumes so he can act out the movie. As long as it's part of imaginative play, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the constant changing of clothes, and the always needing to match people (ahem, every important male) around him. I want him to be his own person... independent, with his OWN sense of style. He shouldn't feel the need to change his clothes all the time in order to feel good about himself. We give him plenty of hugs, kisses, "good jobs" and "I loves you". As a matter of fact, there may not be another child on the planet that is loved more. (Although, most of you moms out there would probably beg to differ).
Drew and I have talked about doing a clothing chart... where Matthew is allowed to change his outfit 2-3 times per day. Once he's got the 2nd or 3rd check mark, that's it. No more changing. (Unless, he gets wet, or muddy... you get the picture though.) This way, he can tangibly see how many more outfits he can change into before he's cut off. Once he can do this without problems for a month, we will reward him. This kid has always responded really well to charts, so I'm thinking this could be a good option for him. Once we get started, I'll update you all on his progress.... for now, thanks for letting me vent. Back to tending to my (sweet) male fashionista....

Hellllooooo hormones...

Seriously, I felt like I was able to really keep my hormones in check up until now. The first trimester, I didn't have any outrageous outbursts of tears or anger.... Nor did I feel like I was holding anything back. During the whole craziness of Matthew's biological Dad's issues, my family kept telling me (and they still do) that I'm the one holding myself together the best out of all of us. Ok, so fast forward to now... Hubbs left for Boston, Matthew was throwing up sick, and I'm left to hold down the fort for 3 1/2 days. I did it, and the house is in one piece, but I am feeling SO irritable, SO annoyed, SO crabby... What's wrong with me?! Oh yes, pregnancy hormones. When everything is magnified by about 100 times. Perhaps when Drew is around his presence just makes me feel better.... whole. I like the feeling of our family being together. I think his little business trip might have just thrown me for a loop, as it is a bit out of the ordinary (he doesn't travel for work that much.) Although, watching my little Matthew fall asleep in my bed the last 3 nights has been pure joy. He's so sweet when he sleeps... especially when he drapes his little 4-year-old arm around me in the middle of the night. ::begins to tear up:: Ah, let's hope that my hormones veer back to their semi-normal state soon....

... and Baby kicks Daddy (finally!)

Yep! Daddy finally felt Baby Will's first kick last night. I think Drew was pretty darn excited about it too. I knew it was going to happen soon because Will's kicks have gotten so much stronger the last few days. I've been down and out with bronchitis and sinus infection that my Doctor diagnosed me with on Monday. I was put on 2 antibiotics and sent home to rest. Thankfully Drew stayed home from work on Monday to care for Matthew, so I could sleep and recooperate. I don't know what I would have done had he not been here! Even though I was taking Tylenol every 4 hours, along with cough medicine and my antibiotics, Will gave me no reason to worry how he was doing.... he was kicking me NON-STOP all day on Monday. Perhaps I just noticed it more since I was pretty immobile lying in bed, but even when I was sleeping, I was subconciously feeling his little kicks in my belly. So I told Drew yesterday at dinnertime that he's been kicking pretty hard, and that I was pretty certain that he'd be able to feel a kick or two VERY soon. And low and behold, as we were sitting on the couch later that evening, I felt a big kick, and told Drew to stick his hand on my belly... and there it was again! I think Drew was a bit shocked, as his daily attempts to feel those kicks were disappointing him the last 2 weeks. But finally... Baby kicks his Daddy. Now lets hope I can get big brother Matthew to hold his hand on my tummy long enough to feel a kick....

Dr. Moyer, how I miss you!

Well, I had my 20 week prenatal appointment yesterday... and my new OBGYN here in Milwaukee said that I'm up 18 pounds at the half way mark, which makes me on the road to gaining 40 pounds. I thought to myself "Ok, good! Better than my last pregnancy with Matthew!" Then she went on to say that she thinks that it's on the high end... Eeek. Her little lecture about how to "watch my weight going forward, but that some women do and still gain the weight regardless" still made me want to start crying. I then explained to her that with Matthew, I had gained 50 pounds while pregnant, and that my OBGYN (Dr. Moyer in Green Bay) never mentioned that he had a problem with it, and always told me that it wasn't something to worry about. I KNOW that I eat fairly decent, and that I get exercise with my Fit Mama Salsa Dance workout DVD (and also walks with Matthew).... so what the hell? Why can't all OBGYN's be like Dr. Moyer? Oh, how I miss him! He was such a wonderful Dr.

After my appointment, Matthew and I headed to the park for a picnic and some playtime with my lovely friends, Shannon and Brittny, and their kids. As I started complaining to them about my appoinment, I thought I was going to start crying - Thankfully, I didn't, but that's probably because Shannon's hubby, Naif, was there, and that'd probably make me feel even more ridiculous. So, naturally, what do real friends do? They comfort me by telling me that they too, had gained 40-50 pounds in each of their pregnancies, and also shared their stories of their Doctors "scolding" them about their weight. And again, this morning, my good (& pregnant)friend Sarah gave me a high five when I told her, because she had gained the same amount by her 20 week point a few weeks ago... AND that her Dr. had also said something to her about watching her weight. So, is it just the norm for most OBGYN's to say something to make us feel guilty? And did I just get lucky to have such a laidback Doctor the first time around? I don't know... After this vent, I'm going to stop worrying about it. The most important thing is that Will is healthy. And I know that I do eat fairly well, and am active on most days. However, I am going to make a regular schedule of my Salsa Dance and Prenatal Yoga... I think Matthew gets a kick out of watching me do it anyways...

Anyways, here's the first picure of my pregnant belly that I'm posting on my blog... Yeah, with all that extra 18 pounds too.

I almost forgot! Happy Cinco de Mayo! Have a margarita for me this year!