That is what I call my son... He has such a hard time in the mornings (heck, any of the 4-5 times per day that he changes clothes) figuring out what he wants to wear. And I swear, he's never satisfied with the way his clothes look, and therefore, that's why he changes so much. This morning, as I was trying to help him get dressed, he was getting upset because he didn't have a clean shirt that matched his red basketball shorts. "How about a grey shirt?" I ask him. "Nooooo, Mommy, that doesn't MATCH!" I take a deep breath. "How about this really cool Cars one with red in it?" I respond. "No, Mom. I don't like that shirt today." ::I start screaming inside my head:: Oh, I love this little boy to pieces, but my goodness.... There's got to be a way to get him to calm down about his clothes. This is driving me batty!
I mentioned his clothing obsession to his preschool teacher at his parent teacher conference, and she giggled and said "isn't that normally a girl thing?" Exactly what I think. Is this normal for a 4 1/2 year old boy to be so obsessed with clothing and matching? (more so with matching people than anything. ie: he gets upset if I tell him to wear different shoes than his Toy Story shoes to school because he won't match his BFF Jacob.) Also, alot of the size 4 t-shirts a wee bit too small, so I bought him some 5's. Well, he's unhappy with how long the sleeves are. And if the shirt in general is too long, he says he feels like he's wearing a dress, so he tucks it in and usually ends up looking like a Grandpa with his pants hiked way up. I should remind myself that at least he doesn't want to wear enormous clothing like some of the "thug-like" teens these days. And, to some extent, he should care about his appearance - that way he's more likely to take care of himself as he gets older. But, I don't want him to obsess so much about how he dresses. Really, its about WHO he is and not what he LOOKS like. But how do you teach that to a 4 year old? Whenever he gets upset because he won't match Jacob at school, I tell him "But you're not Jacob. You're Matthew. You are your own special person."
Let it be known that I have no problem letting him dress up in his Packers or Badger (or, eeekk, Minnesota Gophers) football uniforms. Or sometimes he wants to dress up in his Buzz Lightyear and Woody costumes so he can act out the movie. As long as it's part of imaginative play, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the constant changing of clothes, and the always needing to match people (ahem, every important male) around him. I want him to be his own person... independent, with his OWN sense of style. He shouldn't feel the need to change his clothes all the time in order to feel good about himself. We give him plenty of hugs, kisses, "good jobs" and "I loves you". As a matter of fact, there may not be another child on the planet that is loved more. (Although, most of you moms out there would probably beg to differ).
Drew and I have talked about doing a clothing chart... where Matthew is allowed to change his outfit 2-3 times per day. Once he's got the 2nd or 3rd check mark, that's it. No more changing. (Unless, he gets wet, or muddy... you get the picture though.) This way, he can tangibly see how many more outfits he can change into before he's cut off. Once he can do this without problems for a month, we will reward him. This kid has always responded really well to charts, so I'm thinking this could be a good option for him. Once we get started, I'll update you all on his progress.... for now, thanks for letting me vent. Back to tending to my (sweet) male fashionista....
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Hey Liz!
ReplyDeleteso i saw casey comment on facebook that you had a blog about your fashionista son, and I was curious. and now i'm remembering my son Cain at about this same age. He was very aware of what he was wearing, too. At first he would keep checking with Audrey (he apparently knew his dad has no fashion sense) about whether his outfits matched, then would change if they didn't, and soon enough he was picking up the patterns and matching on his own, and telling us if we weren't following the matching rules that he was developing. But the really amazing part to me was when he decided that the best way to wear shirts was two at a time, with a short sleeved shirt over a long-sleeved shirt. At least once a week, he would go through all the tops he owned, take them off their hangers, put on a long sleeved one, then a short sleeved one that matched, then take them off together and hang them up as a shirt combo. And when he went to preschool, he would wear nothing but one of his combo shirts, for at least 3-4 months.
Anyway, I don't know if every little guy goes through this sort of phase. I jsut hope to god that the how-long-can-I-wear-the-same-pair-of-underwear-without-my-parents-noticing thing that we caught last week doesn't become the latest clothing phase at our house.
Congratulations on your second, too!
Tommy