My wishes for the new year...

As 2009 comes to a close, I am reminded of all the good (and bad) things that have occurred throughout the last year. There is much to be thankful for, but much to be forgetten. Here are my wishes for my family for the new year... the year that I'd like to think holds alot of promise.
For Me: I wish to continue to grow our family.... Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was a mom. I have a healthy, beautiful 4 year old little boy that I love more than anything, and being his mommy has been the best gift I have ever been given. I wish to grow our family this coming year. Drew and I have come a long way this past year and have grown tremendously in our marriage and I want a baby that represents the love and committment that Drew and I have together. I also wish that I continue to have strength as I try to maintain a working relationship with Matthew's Dad and step-mom. It's not easy, but I've been told that I have incredible resilience in how I handle that entire situation. I wish for that resilience to continue.
For Drew: I wish that he continues to be successful at Marquette as he FINISHES his MBA in the fall. I wish that he continues to work hard at Artisan and create a good life for us. I am greatful everyday for the gift he gives me of being able to stay home with Matthew. Our family will only benefit from his continuous hard work.
For Matthew: I wish that he continues to grow and learn as he discovers the world around him. He is so smart and has so much potential to do great things in this world as he gets older. I wish him comfort in reminding him that he is so loved by so many people.... no matter how tough it is to travel back and forth between is "2 worlds".
For my parents: I wish them peace in this new decade of great change for them. Retirement is upon them in a couple years. As is a potential move to Milwaukee. I wish them comfort in knowing that they raised me, Jake and Sara to expect nothing but what we deserve in life.... in our marriages, in our jobs, and in our lives; but that all those things take hard work, dedication and committment. As a family, we all pull through the tough times because of the values and morals they instilled upon us growing up.
For my brother, Jake: I wish him happiness in this new year. I wish him the ability to move on and to accept the things that he cannot change. I wish him the ability to recognize the great man that he is, and move forward in his life to find exactly what he is looking for.
For my sister, Sara: I wish her the patience it takes in finding the path of a career. Let her continue to set a great example for her children as she volunteers so much of her time making a difference in her community. She will only continue to do wonderful things in this world to make it a better place for all of us.
For my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Melanie and Tony: I wish them a year of true joy as they experience the birth of their 3rd baby in June. I wish them to continue to be greatful for the wonderful children that they have been blessed with as they expand their family this year.
For my Mother and Father-in-law, Dianna and Dan: I wish them continued health and wellness in 2010. Their outlook on life has taught me to have faith and believe that there are good things ahead for us, as long as we continue to have trust in God.
For my neices (Maggie, Julia, Ella and Aurelia) & my nephew (Joe): I wish for them to truly experience all the things that make childhood and adolescence so wonderful. Those experiences will shape who they become. I wish that they continue to make our life richer and more satisfying by just being who they are. They all mean so much to me.
For all my other family members and friends: I wish that you all continue to make decisions that will truly make your life richer and more full. Live the life that you want. Don't settle for anything that you don't deserve. Create a goal, and work towards it - be proud of who you are. Love your family and friends... and know that I am greatful for each and every one of you.

Cheers to 2010! A year that holds alot of hope....

Liz

Four years ago today...

I first laid eyes on my son. Today I reminisce about all of the memories I have from that day... a day that I will always cherish. From my water breaking, dealing with the pain of labor, pushing out that beautiful boy and remembering how incredibly blessed I felt that day. December 18, 2005 was the day I became a Mommy.... the best job in the world!

This morning, I looked through all of the pictures from the day he was born. I was very emotional. I cried. I smiled. Unfortuneately this year is the 2nd year in a row where I cannot spend Matthew's actual birthday with him. We had a wonderful party last weekend with all of our friends and family in Milwaukee... so there has definatley not been a lack of celebrating. Matthew is so blessed to have so many people (and families) that love him. Today is his day... and he is spending it with his Dad and step-Mom. And although it is painful to be without him today, I have to remind myself of how blessed I am to have a beautiful, healthy, smart little 4 year old son.

Drew is taking me out to dinner tonight and we are celebrating Matthew... together.

A little bit each day...

So, we're in! We are now officially residents of Greenfield.
Drew, Matthew and I love our new home... and even though there are still boxes on the floor, furniture in the garage (waiting for the damn carpet to STILL dry) and dirt on the floor, it already feels like home. However, we seem to be exhausting ourselves with all the things that need to be done, aside from both of us working and caring for Matthew. It's hard enough to get any cleaning or organizing done when Matthew is here... it's like I clean up, and then there's another mess to be cleaned (like with kids, right?)I would love nothing more than a day to myself to do nothing but clean and organize. But since I'm scheduled to work at the store for 40 hours in the next 5 days, that won't be happening any time soon. So I might need to learn how to not be so anal about a perfectly clean and perfectly organized house. I became that way when my life wasn't so neat and organized... I think it was my way of coping with the unorganized chaos I was dealing with... but now that my life isn't so unorganized, and things have really fallen into place exactly how they were meant to be, it's time for me to let go of some of that.
So, I'm vowing to become a wife/mom with lists... to-do lists... Today's to-do list: vaccum the carpets and wash the floors, balance the checkbook... Tomorrow: clean the bathroom and dust the furniture. My mom always told me to do a little bit each day, then you won't seem so overwhelmed.. she's right... again!
Ok, now off to do that vacuuming....

Amidst the chaos....

As the summer comes to an end, my busy life just keeps getting busier.... wow. I haven't cleaned in over 2 weeks - that's unheard of for me! I haven't really seen my friends at all... We are packing, and working, and going to class, and meeting with insurance agents, appraisers and realtors, and trying to find time for each other in between. And working 8 hour shifts in a retail store (during the weeks I'm supposed to get some "Liz time") really does a number on your back. I was in so much pain last night - thank god for ibuprofen!

Amidst my busy and stressful life, I did have the pleasure of experiencing something amazing. Two weeks ago, my cousin Kati (you may remember her as my maid of honor in my wedding) and her husband Brandon welcomed a baby girl into the world, and I was honored that they asked me to be a part of it. On Friday, August 28 I got a call early in the AM that she was in labor... so I got myself ready, found someone to cover my shift at work and headed up to Appleton. I didn't expect to become a part of the whole delivery, but as Kati neared that 10 cm. mark, she and Brandon asked me to stay while she delivered. It was amazing to watch Kati bring life into the world. Being a mom already, I know the other side of labor and delivery... but to be there supporting and encouraging Kati, in a way that I know helps a birthing mother, was so awesome. Ella Arleen Stahmann was born around 5:30pm weighing 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 inches long (she's named after our Great-Grandma Ella and also our Grandma Arleen.) She's got a full head of blonde hair, just like Kati did. She is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Matthew and I drove up to Appleon the week after she was born to cook for the new parents and clean their house a bit... Gage and Matthew had fun playing while I helped the new mom out. Kati is one of the most laidback moms I've ever seen. She's so relaxed and calm... it's amazing to me, considering I know how not relaxed I was when Matthew was born.... I have no idea where she gets that from, since the Dhuey's tend to be a bit anxious...

As for Drew and I... we are 2 weeks away from closing on our new house. We are hoping that things continue to go well and that the sellers will be fixing everything that they said they would fix... ahem, the radon problem... We are really anxious to get in and get settled. I hate having to live out of boxes!
Drew's birthday is Monday and we're trying to fit in time to celebrate - but it's been a bit challenging with our busy schedules. Poor guy has to work AND go to class on his birthday.... Matthew and I will be waiting for him when he gets home with a fresh, homeade blueberry pie (with 28 candles!) when he gets home though :-)
Happy fall everyone.... more about the Zimmerman's soon!

Time to Move!

We have some good news! Drew and I will be homeowners in just less than a month! The day before we celebrated our one year anniversary, we put an offer in on a house in Greenfield. We had planned to spend the weekend of our anniversary in Door County, and were a tad late getting up there because of our decision to put an offer on a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom ranch on a quiet Greenfield subdivision with a HUGE fenced in yard and a swingset for the kiddos to play on. We anxiously awaited to hear back from the owners while we sipped wine at a winery, ate a romantic dinner, spent time in our whirlpool suite at Stone Harbor Resort and shopped in the quaint boutiques of DC. Finally, by Tuesday we accepted the sellers 2nd counter offer. At first the idea seemed a bit surreal... like "are we really doing this NOW?" But as it sets in, we are getting quite excited... All the pieces of our life are settling, and this house signifies how we are charging ahead in our life together in Milwaukee. Undoubtedly, leaving our duplex in Glendale will be bittersweet. Bitter because we'll be leaving the place where we first started our life... together. I keep joking to Drew that someday we'll drive our kids past it and tell them "this is where Mommy and Daddy and Matthew first lived" - a ritual I grew up with in my family - where my parents took us on "Magical Mystery tours" of Milwaukee every single time we were in the city. And actually, I believe they took my sister-in-law Bethany on one last summer when she was in Milwaukee...see, they never get old for Arlie and Mary Jo! :-) However, leaving Glendale will be sweet because we will finally have a place to call our own... and this house is where we will bring home our babies - where our family will continue to grow. And I can't wait for that.

Sometimes the pain is worth it in the end.

I’m guilty of it again…how long has it been since my last post? Almost a month?! But I have a good reason, and although I truly do not want to go into a lot of details, I feel that I am ready to talk about and that it will do me a lot of good to talk about it here... which is the point of this right? Recently, our family suffered a bit of a tragedy – nothing that we weren’t capable of pulling thru, but difficult nonetheless. Throughout the last 5 years of my life, I have become accustomed to difficult times in my life: losing both of my grandpa’s within 10 months of each other…. Adultry. Divorce. Custody battles. And now... Miscarriage.
Let me say that I truly believe that I am a strong person on the inside. I have my moments of weakness and I would consider myself an emotional, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of woman, but I am proof of the saying “Whatever doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.” There are times where I literally couldn’t think about how I would get through a particular “tragedy” – but with help, trust in God and a lot of support, I did. Out of every one of these tragedies, I also tried my best to look for the silver lining: the “something good” that came out of that situation. Some were easy to find, others were not. When my Grandpa Dhuey unexpectedly passed away a mere 2 weeks after I gave birth to Matthew, my whole family was devastated. However, since that difficult time, I have never been closer to my cousin Kati. In fact, we despised each other as we went thru our pre-teen and teenage years. But the death of our Grandpa brought us closer together. It might have been the moment as the six cousins carried his casket out into the zero degree January weather. (Picture this: Kati, a 5 foot petite woman in high heels in front of me. Then me, a postpartum new-mom, overcome with tears and also instructed not to lift anything heavier than my 8lb. baby, then my sister behind me telling me I shouldn’t be lifting anything and to “fake it”. At one point, even through all the tears, we all started laughing at the silly picture we must have painted for everyone as we carried out Grandpa. It must have been grandpa bringing us all together at that moment, and I know he is with me everyday cheering me on… ) It was almost as if, from that moment, Kati and I continued to get closer… as we stood up in each other’s weddings, shared stories about raising a boy, and she just recently told me that I’m the “back-up” labor coach should (God forbid) anything happen to Brandon. The tragedy of losing Grandpa brought us to be friends, as well as cousins - and I know that he is smiling down on us from heaven, proud of the fact that we overcame our differences to love each other again.
Part of the silver lining in my divorce was the fact that I learned to be an independent woman, supporting herself (and a young child). But undoubtedly, the biggest one, was to not be married to someone who continued to cause me the most pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I still have to somehow deal with the guy on a weekly basis… but that’s a whole other story… perhaps another blog someday. Divorce causes you such horrible pain no matter how badly you want to be out of the marriage... however, here I am - 27 and happily married again. This wouldn't have happened had I not had the courage to get out of that marriage and go through a painful divorce.
This recent tragedy was really hard. I wouldn't wish a miscarriage upon anyone. God gives you a life to grow, but then it’s taken away from you. I have learned to be grateful for the life I was given iinside of me… even if his life only lasted a few short weeks. The days immediately following, I have never felt closer to my husband. The pain we were both feeling was evident and we pulled together as a couple and got through those first gut wrenching days. I was able to spend a wonderful day with my mother-in-law, Dianna. Although I know I was quiet for a lot of the day, it was comforting to have her there with me, and that day will be something that I will share with her forever. My sister-in-law called countless times to makes sure I was doing okay, and then sent me a couple books to read as I start the 6-8 week waiting game. My parents sent me flowers, and my mom made sure there were gerber daisies in the vase as she knows it’s a symbol of Drew and me. This tragedy has brought me closer to these people, and it has also reminded me of how fortunate I am to have the family that I have in my life. There are many people in the world that are not as fortunate. A pregnancy was taken away from me, but I was given wonderful support and unconditional love in return. Perhaps that’s what God gives us when we experience tragedies in our lives. I know that when I'm holding my next child in my arms (a product of Drew and me) it will somehow make the pain I am feeling now completely worth it in the end.
As my husband always says... onward and upward. Cheers to what God has in store for us!

So much going on!

Agh... I broke a promise. I promised myself that I'd blog AT LEAST once a week... well, it's been over 2. When Matthew is here, I hate being on the computer, and if I am I'm usually Skyping or catching up on emails. This week, I had to work yesterday, I babysat this morning, I work tonight, I work all day tomorrow and then I have Friday off (to clean my icky house!) and then I work on Saturday. I'm not complaining... but there's always stuff going on!
At work, we've been putting up the 1st fall line of clothing - there is some CUTE little boy stuff! I can't wait to get my hands on some of it. I keep reminding myself to not go crazy all at once... he won't even need long sleeve shirts for another month or two anyways. Besides, we have to save for preschool! Matthew will be in a preschool program through the MKE YMCA - they even gave me a special rate for my "unique" situation. It'll be so good for him to go to school and meet some new friends.
Over the weekend, Drew, Matthew and I went to the Circus parade downtown. It was SO cool! I got so excited to see the elephants.... It's quite a site to see elephants stomping down Wisconsin Ave. in downtown Milwaukee. We treated Matthew to brunch at The Wicked Hop, and then to some cotton candy and popcorn. It was a great family outing... and I absolutely LOVE those days that the 3 of us can have some quality time together.
This weekend there isn't much going on except the fact that I have to work on Saturday (and maybe Sunday). Sometimes it's nice to just not have anything on the calendar for a weekend... even if I will be working - I still enjoy it.
Speaking of... I need to go eat my bowl of cereal before I head out...
Love,
Liz

A 3 year olds fashion sense. In 95 degree heat.

Any of you that live in Wisconsin - or nearby - surely felt the heat last week. The temps were around 95, and it felt like 100 or so. Lucky for us, we do not have air conditioning in our house... just an old window A/C unit that only has enough power to cool down one room - our dining room. I actually had to take sleeping pills one night to get to sleep because I was one big giant ball of sweat. This brings me to Matthew and his idea of staying cool. As in "I'm awesome, Mom".
Wednesday and Thursday of last week, he wakes up, sees what his Daddy Drew is wearing to work (casual jeans and a polo shirt with dress shoes) and decides that that is what he must wear to "match". I looked at the thermostat in our house... it reads 82. I'm in tiny shorts and a tank top and I'm sweating at 8am. I mention to Matthew that Mommy would like him to stay cool because it's so hot out. Matthew does not like this answer and therefore proceeds to melt down, whine, cry, and pout because he is adament about wear HIS jeans, polo shirt and black dress shoes (and don't let me forget the white undershirt either). This goes on for an hour each morning.... with both of us getting upset. Finally, I give in (both times) after there's a dozen shirts and pants balled up on the floor. However, I tell him that he can wear his "Daddy Drew outfit" only in the house and that once we leave, he needs to wear his tank top and shorts. He reluctantly agrees, and proceeds to sweat through his 2 shirts, jeans and black dress shoes - yet telling me that he is "cold". Once Friday arrived, and the same scenario starts to unfold, I just let him do it his way, and tell myself "Pick your battles, Liz. The hour long outfit battle the last two days was enough for you." Drew finds it very endearing, and humorous. And the game of "Daddy Drew Idol" goes on...

Summer is here!

I just got the mail today. And I had a wonderful note from my sister-in-law, Melanie, waiting for me. Melanie is so good at writing and sending notes and photos to people... one of her many qualities that makes her so great. Her words of support brought me to tears. Not because it made me sad, but because she cares so much... for me, for Matthew and for her brother. I've met a lot of people and been a part of more than a few families in my 27 years of life - and after all of these experiences to take me where I am today, I feel so blessed to have a sister-in-law like her (they don't all come like that, believe me!). All of Drew's family members are so loving, caring and supportive and they have welcomed me (and all my baggage) with open arms. Heck, they'll even let me vent from time to time...

My new job... it's fantastic! I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to handle working in a busy store, but after working 3 days, I absolutely love it! I'm having so much fun helping customers pick out outfits for their toddler's photo shoots, and even chatting with them as I check them out. And let me tell you, the fall line that will come out in mid-July is AWESOME. Little boys clothes keep getting better - thank god! I told Drew that Matthew will be even better dressed now... thanks to that fat 30% discount!

I'm really looking forward to this week. Matthew comes back in 5 hours (not that I'm counting or anything...) and I have lots of fun things planned. Splash pad with friends, waterpark with the Carraro's, storytime at the library, and hopefully some strawberry picking with his cousins. It'll be a short week with him, as he heads to Florida with his dad and new step-mom on Friday night. But I have a big baby shower to help my mom out with on Saturday for my baby cousin, Kati - who is due in September. With so much to do, I'm sure it'll go fast... but that's what summer is all about, right?

Emotions!

I have to admit, my emotions have been running seriously high lately. I'm not sure if it's Matthew's changing schedule for the summer, adding more responsibility to my plate with getting a part time job at The Children's Place, or missing my husband from the countless hours he has been spending at class, or preparing for class, or studying for class or doing homework for class. All are certainly valid reasons, I'm sure, but the last couple of days, I'll just get teary eyed and not really understand why. There's nothing horrible going on in my life right now, and I truly feel satisfied and happy at where I am today.
For instance, I was just vacuuming and dusting Matthew's room as part of my "every-other-Tuesday-clean-like-a-mad-woman-routine"; I grabbed a handful of his clothes and towels he used yesterday to throw in the laundry. As I inhaled the sweet smell of his baby sunblock still on his "dirty" clothes, I started crying. I miss my little boy. People often ask me how in the world I go 6 or 7 days in a row without seeing my son. I usually always respond with something along the lines of "I've been doing it for so long now, that it doesn't really bother me." Well, I guess I wouldn't consider that the whole truth. Although it really doesn't get much harder, it really doesn't get any easier either. It's also been really hard to see Drew say goodbye to Matthew. My husband isn't an emotional person, but the look in his eyes when he gives Matthew that final hug and kiss for the week pains me. Don't get me wrong, Drew and I take advantage of our "child-free" days by going out together and relaxing a bit more - but it's obvious that we both feel that something is missing when he isn't here. We talk about him. ALOT. :-)
I'm looking forward to having more things to occupy my time while he's gone, and while Drew goes to school - and my part time job at The Children's Place should do just that. I start Wednesday afternoon - wish me luck! It's been a while since I worked in retail!

Need. To. Blog.

I've realized that I haven't posted much since starting this blog... I'm vowing now to do it once a week. With the weeks that Matthew is here, I hardly get enough time to sit and really think about things, let alone catch a moment to myself. I really just need to pick a day to blog and do it. So I will. However, I may need a couple reminders here and there...

Allergy shots, BBQ's and waterfalls...

So, I've had quite an eventful past few days.
On Friday, Matthew and I went in to get my weekly allergy shot. After waiting for 30 minutes, and only having a small welt where they injected the shot, they let us go home. However, a few short minutes later, as we were walking to our car, I started to feel nauseous, then began wheezing and then I started gasping for air. Once we were in the car, I knew something was not right as I struggled to get a good breath into my lungs. Trying to stay calm for Matty, I told him that Mommy needed to go get help from the Doctor. As the seconds went on, breathing became more difficult. Thankfully, we were only in the parking lot - once I got inside there was panic among the receptionists. Once my Doctor got me into a room, they immediately gave me an epi shot. It was one of the most terrifying experiences. Not being able to breathe and having my 3 year old son there watching everything. He didn't cry, but he kept asking me "Mommy, what happened?" After an hour of lying down and making sure the reaction was under control, the staff let me go home. I was meeting Kati, Gage and "Sparkles" for lunch and was eager to get home to see them. Once I got there, I felt my face getting beet red and having this warm sensation all over my body. We decided to head out to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory where we met my sister and Julia. Throughout lunch, my entire body broke out in a horrible rash. I was itchy, hot and stuffy. I called my Doctor and, again, I had to head into his office, where they gave me another epi shot, some steriods and some antihistamines. After being sent home I, again, broke out into another (smaller) rash and took more antihistamines to try and avoid another epi shot or hospital visit. Thankfully it worked, and all I felt the rest of the night was extreme exhaustion. Enough drama on a Friday for me!
Sunday afternoon we went over to my good friend Shannon's house for a BBQ and met another really nice couple with 3 little girls of their own. Matthew played with his buddy Laith and met his new friends (taking a liking to the 4 year old girl - he's such a flirt!). It was a beautiful afternoon, albeit chilly, it was great to spend time with friends. Another reason why I love living here so much - I've met some of the coolest people!
On Monday, it got up to 80 degrees here by noon, so I thought it'd be a great afternoon to (finally) take Matty to the Bayshore waterfalls to play in. Before heading over there, we decided to visit Drew at work. By 2:30 the temperature had dropped about 20 degrees, and by the time we got to the waterfalls, it was freeeeeeeezing. Matthew was so cold and so disappointed that he just melted down and sobbed about wanting to play in the waterfalls... then about missing his Daddy Drew. Poor kid. Well, there's always next week, Matty...

To kick-off the summer - on to Minneapolis!

Bethany graduated yesterday with her masters degree from the College of St. Catherine. Drew and I are heading out late this afternoon to celebrate with the family. Weekends like this always get me giddy. I truly love spending time all together. A party on Saturday to celebrate B's accomplishments, and tailgating for the Brewer game on Sunday. The weather in the Twin Cities is supposed to be mid-70's and sunny - the perfect start to summer! The only way that it would be better would be if Matthew was going to be along. He talks about his Uncle Jake and Auntie B all the time. And he absolutely LOVES Sedona! :-)
Its tough not being able to experience all family weekends like this with Matthew. I want him to appreciate time with his family just like I do one day. Yesterday, I had to run to Bayshore to buy him one last pair of cargo shorts (just like Daddy Drew's, mind you) for the summer that were on sale at Children's Place. It was a beautiful day here, high near 85, and the mall had the sprinkler waterfalls on - something that Matthew has been waiting for ever since last summer ended! I couldn't help but get teary eyed as I walked past all the squealing, giggling kids as they ran through the water with their swimsuits on... I would've done anything to have Matthew there with me to play in the water. It would have thrilled him! And thrilled me just as much to watch the pure joy on his face. So next week, once it gets past 70 degrees that's the first thing on my to-do list: play in the waterfalls at Bayshore with Matthew. Missing him now will make that first "waterfall experience of the summer" that much sweeter. For now, off to Minneapolis to enjoy the 1st weekend of summer...

And the blogging begins...

So... Here I go! I've decided to create a blog. One that all of our friends and family can go to, to check out how the Zimmerman's are doing, see pictures, etc.
Since I have enjoyed writing in the past, I decided that a blog would be the best way to keep my writing skills up to par. There are so many little things that I want to share with everyone, and sometimes I just want to sit and write about stuff on my mind. There are many things that Drew, Matthew and I experience and deal with on a day to day basis that are noteworthy. And since we don't get to see our favorite people as much as we would like, here's another way for us to connect with everyone.
Here's to blogging... and happy reading to all of you!