Oh BOY, was this Mama wrong!

We're having a baby BOY!!! I can hardly believe it yet... I'm going to be the Mama of TWO boys! It's all so very exciting - I'm so happy that Matthew will get to have a brother to play with (and I'm sure, to wrestle with, eventually). And best of all, Baby is HEALTHY. He's got ten little fingers and ten little toes... a good strong heart, kidneys, spine and skull... and he did not hesitate at all to show us his boy parts. He must be proud of his manhood already! Our ultrasound was in 2D, as well as 4D, so we got some amazing video of him. We caught him on camera smiling at all of us. It was so incredible!

We've already picked out his name. He will be named after Drew's Grandpa, as well as Drew. And now, the Zimmerman name will go on...
Here he is... our new little love.

William Andrew Zimmerman

A new normal

Well, I'm sure a lot of you have waited for me to post about SOMETHING relevant to what's going on in my life right now. Anyone that really knows me, knows that some big things have been occuring lately- and for those of you that don't, all you need to do is Google Matthew's dad's name to understand all what we are dealing with at the moment.
I am NOT going to write about my ex-husband though. I choose to focus and reflect on the positive things in my life - one of those things is, that we are adjusting to a new normal, and it is glorious!
When I got that positive pregnancy test back in January, I figured I had 9 months to try to readjust my schedule to accomodate my life as a full-time mom. Little did I know then, that come April, everything would change, and I woud once again have a little one, full time. That's right, Matthew is with us all the time. We have sole custody, and it is fantastic. Long gone are the anxiety filled days (especially Monday's) where I would just wait for the clock to hit 4:15 when I'd have to leave to drop him off with his dad. I would dread that drive, especially the one back home to Milwaukee - I felt so lonely with the empty car seat in the back. My little love, Matthew, is here, and is safe with us every day. I haven't been able to say that since he was 6 months old. I would always wonder what I was missing out on when he was away from me. Did he say a new word? Or learn a new fact? Or go to the zoo for the first time with out his Mama? Who would comfort him when he scraped his knee or fell off his bike?
I have to admit, it has been a little chaotic at times - I've been so used to the schedule of having him for 8 days, then not having him for 6 days (where I would get MOST of my stuff done) - that I had to quickly readjust how I did everything. I cleaned the whole house yesterday morning - a chore that surely will have to be done on the weekends now, especially when Jellybean arrives! I cannot tell you how awesome it feels to wake up on a Monday morning, to a ridiculously clean house, and also knowing that I don't have to make that drive to Kiel anymore. So long are the days where I have to schedule my play dates around the times when Matthew is here, or feel bad about having to miss out on one of his friends birthday's because he wasn't here... Matthew gets to participate in 100% of what's going on here, at home in Milwaukee.
Yesterday morning, Drew said to me... "Matthew is so giggly lately." I responded by saying "I think he feels more comfortable and sure of what to expect in his life right now." Drew agreed. Then I shared what Matthew had said to me early yesterday morning as I was making his pancakes for breakfast. Matthew looked up at me and said "Mom, I like it when I get to stay here. I love you and Daddy Drew so much." Then he hugged me and went about his morning. I had tears in my eyes - and I still do as I write about it now. How greatful I am to have a moment like that with my 4 year old son. How greatful I am that God has given me this gift of having him here with us. Albeit, I wish it were under better circumstances, but as the saying goes - When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade!
Thank you to EVERYONE who has been praying for Matthew, Drew and me and my family. We SO appreciate it all - and we feel the love! Baby Jellybean is growing stronger every day (I am starting to feel those kicks on the outside now!) Another thing to be thankful for.... Next week: Are we Team Pink or Team Blue?!

I'm thinking girl...

I had my 16 week appointment on Tuesday morning. Matthew and my Mom were able to join me. We heard that glorious heartveat again - going strong at 155! While I was pregnant with Matthew, his heartbeat was ALWAYS 140. So, perhaps thats why my instinct is to say girl because of that old wives tale of having a faster heart rate for girls. We'll see in a little over 2 weeks! I was informed my by OB/GYN that we'll be getting a 2D and a 3D ultrasound done with a perinatologist (a doctor specializing in fetal anatomy) and that we'll also be able to record the whole thing onto a DVD. How cool?! Baby's first video! I know it will be amazing, and I absolutely cannot wait. I purchased a "Big Brother" t-shirt for Matthew (on clearance at Kohl's for $5! Woot!) so I'm hoping he'll wear that for the BIG ultrasound! I'm sure he'll grab some attention.
I'm not feeling too creative in terms of writing today, but I just wanted to update you all! Once I have a good story to tell, I'll be sure to elaborate and humor you all here.

I heart my chiroprator!

For the last several weeks, I've been plagued with HORRIBLE headaches. Tylenol and caffeine wouldn't touch them. Laying down didn't really seem to help either. They had really just begun right as I entered my 2nd trimester in mid-March. So I did some research online (as I was getting desperate for some relief!) and low and behold, several articles recommended the use of a chiropractor for headache relief.
A little background: I've been seeing mine for about 18 months now, after I suffered a horrible pinched nerve in my back - which got so painful one day, that I couldn't breathe and had to call Drew home from work to get me into the car. At that point, my chiropractor had taken X-Rays and had told me how my 1st pregnancy with Matthew had really taken it's toll on my back, which was causing my problems. Ever since then, I've seen him regularly and my back pain has gotten alot better.
So, this past Monday, I was desperate to get rid of the headache from Sunday, so I called my chiropractor and Matthew and I made our way into his office on Monday afternoon. Once on the table, "Dr. Jim the Back Doctor" (as Matthew calls him) could immediately feel knots in my upper back, along with a lot of tightness going up through my neck. He cracked my back a few times, he cracked my neck a few more times... and WALLA! Just like that, my headache was gone. I wanted to frickin' hug the guy! I hadn't seen him since before my birthday a few weeks ago... which was also the week that Drew and I had had a "sleepover" in Matthew's new double bunk bed. That nights sleep (on a mattress that wasn't my own Euro-top mattress) was horrible and I suffered from a huge headache that entire next day. That must have been the culprit.
I'm so relieved to have not had a headache the last 2 days.... believe in the power of the "The Back Doctor"

Restored Faith

I feel like this post is going to be really cheesey... but it's honestly something I have been thinking about since Drew and I decided to start trying to concieve a baby.... and last night, as Drew was lying in bed with me, touching my belly he asked me, "So, do you like being pregnant?" I responded with "Yes, of course I do, and even more so now that I'm feeling a bit better and I'm not sick anymore... because that was really hard to feel so yucky." Then I moved on to describe to him what I'm about to describe to you all, in the best way that I can... I hope it makes sense.

This baby has really brought me some restored faith. Restored faith in what unconditional love is, and to WANT to create a life together because of that love. I can't even tell you how "cool" it is to me to have the baby that Drew and I created together growing inside of me. Drew and I have loved each other for such a long time. WAY longer than we have been together. The day I met him in October of 2000, I knew there was something about him that I just adored. And that "something" was not easy to shake... it stayed with me all through the last 10 years, and is still with me today. My husband is not perfect.... he gets on my nerves, and makes me angry (and I admittedly do the same to him, I'm sure). But above anything else, we love each other.... and we work hard to create a good life that we're both happy in.

Rewind 5 years ago... I found out I was prenant with Matthew, and I was no doubt, SO excited. I had always wanted to be a mother and at the time "thought" that Matthew's dad was the one I was supposed to create children with. Thought is the key word there. I really didn't believe it. We were not ready in our relationship to become parents. I was alone for alot of my pregnancy... I was not in the marriage I had hoped for, and it was disappointing. For so long, I felt that it was just Matthew and me... we were the team - which is partially why I adore him so much. The mother/son bond that we have helped me get through so much pain that I experienced. Those years where it was just him and me, created the unique bond that I will always have with him. He will always be my first "baby".

Fast forward 5 years, to now. Drew and I have a relationship that from the very beginning in those college dorm-days, has been built on friendship. What's better than to be married to a best friend? Don't get me wrong, we have the passion, and physical attraction... but first and foremost, we are friends... and now we are going to bring a life into this world that represents US. It's almost surreal to me! Whenever I feel a little kick or a flutter, I think to myself "This is OUR baby!" And it feels so right. And I believe in what it means to create a life out of unconditional love. It's another piece to my journey in finding restored faith... in what it is to have a good life.

So, for fun... here's us when were a mere 19 years old. Where this unconditional love started...

And the day we made the committment to keep that unconditional love going...

Goodbye nausea! Helllloooo appetite!

Yup, that's right.... the nausea is going away! I want to scream it from the roof tops! I do get small bouts of it from time to time (usually around bedtime) but I am feeling SO much better. However, as the nausea goes away, my appetite is in full force. I ate a ridiculous amount already today - and I know I'll be hungry again in a little while. I remember this from my pregnancy with Matthew - starting in the 2nd trimester. I couldn't fill myself up! On Saturday, my parents made this huge Irish feast.... I ate a ton... and then ate a delicious homeade chocolate cake that my sister brought....and seriously, I was not full when I was done. I kind of felt out of place as our guests talked about the food coma they were in, and I could've eaten more! Right before bedtime, everyone was talking about how full they still were, and all I could say was "Yeah, not me. I'm hungry again."
I am greatful that I'm starting to enjoy food again. I missed it terribly!

Oh, and did I mention that I think Drew is having those "Daddy pregnancy symptoms" right along with me? Last night, he was eating Oreos in bed at 10:30pm because he felt hungry (He usually NEVER eats past 8:30). He has also had backaches, headaches... among other things that I won't detail for you. :-) I call them sympathy pains....

I'm almost 14 and a half weeks now... Yesterday I recieved my first pregnancy comment from a complete stranger in Target. I was waiting in line to check out and a man in his mid-30's asked "if you don't mind me asking, how far along are you?" I looked up and smiled and said "Almost 4 months." He congratulated me and we both went about our business. Must have been the form fitting maternity shirt I was wearing.... but people are starting to notice the Baby Z BUMP! Woot!

28 years old!

28 years seems like a lot, doesn't it?
It sounds so much older than 27... and in 2 years, I'll be (gasp!) 30! In January when we got our positive pregnancy test, I did the math, and figured out that the week of my birthday would also be the week I jump to the second trimester. And I said to myself, and even wrote in my journal that all I wanted for my birthday was to get through the 1st trimester and have a healthy pregnancy. Thus far, my wish has come true, and for that I am SO thankful.
I'm spending the evening with my two favorite boys which is exacly what I wanted. Drew is grilling some bacon wrapped filets tonight (my meat adversions are slowly going away. I was able to happily cook and EAT pork chops last night - YAY!). Matthew and I are going to the store after he's done with school to pick out a birthday cake for Mommy. Matthew says that I should pick out cupcakes with basketballs on them... I was thinking green shamrocks, but we'll see. :-)
Every year on my birthday when I was growing up, my parents would cook this amazing Irish feast of corned beef, red potatoes, carrots, and cabbage (and usually topped off with ice cream cake from Dairy Queen), then a little bit of Bailey's for everyone too! They are coming down this weekend from Green Bay, and they are taking over my kitchen and cooking me my traditional birthday dinner as we celebrate together as a family. I'm really looking forward to it. I always really loved having my birthday on St. Patrick's Day - everyone is celebrating! So however you celebrate, enjoy your St. Patty's Day!

Cheers! ::clinks glass of water and pretends its some tasty green beer::