My son, the male fashionista.

That is what I call my son... He has such a hard time in the mornings (heck, any of the 4-5 times per day that he changes clothes) figuring out what he wants to wear. And I swear, he's never satisfied with the way his clothes look, and therefore, that's why he changes so much. This morning, as I was trying to help him get dressed, he was getting upset because he didn't have a clean shirt that matched his red basketball shorts. "How about a grey shirt?" I ask him. "Nooooo, Mommy, that doesn't MATCH!" I take a deep breath. "How about this really cool Cars one with red in it?" I respond. "No, Mom. I don't like that shirt today." ::I start screaming inside my head:: Oh, I love this little boy to pieces, but my goodness.... There's got to be a way to get him to calm down about his clothes. This is driving me batty!
I mentioned his clothing obsession to his preschool teacher at his parent teacher conference, and she giggled and said "isn't that normally a girl thing?" Exactly what I think. Is this normal for a 4 1/2 year old boy to be so obsessed with clothing and matching? (more so with matching people than anything. ie: he gets upset if I tell him to wear different shoes than his Toy Story shoes to school because he won't match his BFF Jacob.) Also, alot of the size 4 t-shirts a wee bit too small, so I bought him some 5's. Well, he's unhappy with how long the sleeves are. And if the shirt in general is too long, he says he feels like he's wearing a dress, so he tucks it in and usually ends up looking like a Grandpa with his pants hiked way up. I should remind myself that at least he doesn't want to wear enormous clothing like some of the "thug-like" teens these days. And, to some extent, he should care about his appearance - that way he's more likely to take care of himself as he gets older. But, I don't want him to obsess so much about how he dresses. Really, its about WHO he is and not what he LOOKS like. But how do you teach that to a 4 year old? Whenever he gets upset because he won't match Jacob at school, I tell him "But you're not Jacob. You're Matthew. You are your own special person."
Let it be known that I have no problem letting him dress up in his Packers or Badger (or, eeekk, Minnesota Gophers) football uniforms. Or sometimes he wants to dress up in his Buzz Lightyear and Woody costumes so he can act out the movie. As long as it's part of imaginative play, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the constant changing of clothes, and the always needing to match people (ahem, every important male) around him. I want him to be his own person... independent, with his OWN sense of style. He shouldn't feel the need to change his clothes all the time in order to feel good about himself. We give him plenty of hugs, kisses, "good jobs" and "I loves you". As a matter of fact, there may not be another child on the planet that is loved more. (Although, most of you moms out there would probably beg to differ).
Drew and I have talked about doing a clothing chart... where Matthew is allowed to change his outfit 2-3 times per day. Once he's got the 2nd or 3rd check mark, that's it. No more changing. (Unless, he gets wet, or muddy... you get the picture though.) This way, he can tangibly see how many more outfits he can change into before he's cut off. Once he can do this without problems for a month, we will reward him. This kid has always responded really well to charts, so I'm thinking this could be a good option for him. Once we get started, I'll update you all on his progress.... for now, thanks for letting me vent. Back to tending to my (sweet) male fashionista....

Hellllooooo hormones...

Seriously, I felt like I was able to really keep my hormones in check up until now. The first trimester, I didn't have any outrageous outbursts of tears or anger.... Nor did I feel like I was holding anything back. During the whole craziness of Matthew's biological Dad's issues, my family kept telling me (and they still do) that I'm the one holding myself together the best out of all of us. Ok, so fast forward to now... Hubbs left for Boston, Matthew was throwing up sick, and I'm left to hold down the fort for 3 1/2 days. I did it, and the house is in one piece, but I am feeling SO irritable, SO annoyed, SO crabby... What's wrong with me?! Oh yes, pregnancy hormones. When everything is magnified by about 100 times. Perhaps when Drew is around his presence just makes me feel better.... whole. I like the feeling of our family being together. I think his little business trip might have just thrown me for a loop, as it is a bit out of the ordinary (he doesn't travel for work that much.) Although, watching my little Matthew fall asleep in my bed the last 3 nights has been pure joy. He's so sweet when he sleeps... especially when he drapes his little 4-year-old arm around me in the middle of the night. ::begins to tear up:: Ah, let's hope that my hormones veer back to their semi-normal state soon....

... and Baby kicks Daddy (finally!)

Yep! Daddy finally felt Baby Will's first kick last night. I think Drew was pretty darn excited about it too. I knew it was going to happen soon because Will's kicks have gotten so much stronger the last few days. I've been down and out with bronchitis and sinus infection that my Doctor diagnosed me with on Monday. I was put on 2 antibiotics and sent home to rest. Thankfully Drew stayed home from work on Monday to care for Matthew, so I could sleep and recooperate. I don't know what I would have done had he not been here! Even though I was taking Tylenol every 4 hours, along with cough medicine and my antibiotics, Will gave me no reason to worry how he was doing.... he was kicking me NON-STOP all day on Monday. Perhaps I just noticed it more since I was pretty immobile lying in bed, but even when I was sleeping, I was subconciously feeling his little kicks in my belly. So I told Drew yesterday at dinnertime that he's been kicking pretty hard, and that I was pretty certain that he'd be able to feel a kick or two VERY soon. And low and behold, as we were sitting on the couch later that evening, I felt a big kick, and told Drew to stick his hand on my belly... and there it was again! I think Drew was a bit shocked, as his daily attempts to feel those kicks were disappointing him the last 2 weeks. But finally... Baby kicks his Daddy. Now lets hope I can get big brother Matthew to hold his hand on my tummy long enough to feel a kick....

Dr. Moyer, how I miss you!

Well, I had my 20 week prenatal appointment yesterday... and my new OBGYN here in Milwaukee said that I'm up 18 pounds at the half way mark, which makes me on the road to gaining 40 pounds. I thought to myself "Ok, good! Better than my last pregnancy with Matthew!" Then she went on to say that she thinks that it's on the high end... Eeek. Her little lecture about how to "watch my weight going forward, but that some women do and still gain the weight regardless" still made me want to start crying. I then explained to her that with Matthew, I had gained 50 pounds while pregnant, and that my OBGYN (Dr. Moyer in Green Bay) never mentioned that he had a problem with it, and always told me that it wasn't something to worry about. I KNOW that I eat fairly decent, and that I get exercise with my Fit Mama Salsa Dance workout DVD (and also walks with Matthew).... so what the hell? Why can't all OBGYN's be like Dr. Moyer? Oh, how I miss him! He was such a wonderful Dr.

After my appointment, Matthew and I headed to the park for a picnic and some playtime with my lovely friends, Shannon and Brittny, and their kids. As I started complaining to them about my appoinment, I thought I was going to start crying - Thankfully, I didn't, but that's probably because Shannon's hubby, Naif, was there, and that'd probably make me feel even more ridiculous. So, naturally, what do real friends do? They comfort me by telling me that they too, had gained 40-50 pounds in each of their pregnancies, and also shared their stories of their Doctors "scolding" them about their weight. And again, this morning, my good (& pregnant)friend Sarah gave me a high five when I told her, because she had gained the same amount by her 20 week point a few weeks ago... AND that her Dr. had also said something to her about watching her weight. So, is it just the norm for most OBGYN's to say something to make us feel guilty? And did I just get lucky to have such a laidback Doctor the first time around? I don't know... After this vent, I'm going to stop worrying about it. The most important thing is that Will is healthy. And I know that I do eat fairly well, and am active on most days. However, I am going to make a regular schedule of my Salsa Dance and Prenatal Yoga... I think Matthew gets a kick out of watching me do it anyways...

Anyways, here's the first picure of my pregnant belly that I'm posting on my blog... Yeah, with all that extra 18 pounds too.

I almost forgot! Happy Cinco de Mayo! Have a margarita for me this year!

Oh BOY, was this Mama wrong!

We're having a baby BOY!!! I can hardly believe it yet... I'm going to be the Mama of TWO boys! It's all so very exciting - I'm so happy that Matthew will get to have a brother to play with (and I'm sure, to wrestle with, eventually). And best of all, Baby is HEALTHY. He's got ten little fingers and ten little toes... a good strong heart, kidneys, spine and skull... and he did not hesitate at all to show us his boy parts. He must be proud of his manhood already! Our ultrasound was in 2D, as well as 4D, so we got some amazing video of him. We caught him on camera smiling at all of us. It was so incredible!

We've already picked out his name. He will be named after Drew's Grandpa, as well as Drew. And now, the Zimmerman name will go on...
Here he is... our new little love.

William Andrew Zimmerman

A new normal

Well, I'm sure a lot of you have waited for me to post about SOMETHING relevant to what's going on in my life right now. Anyone that really knows me, knows that some big things have been occuring lately- and for those of you that don't, all you need to do is Google Matthew's dad's name to understand all what we are dealing with at the moment.
I am NOT going to write about my ex-husband though. I choose to focus and reflect on the positive things in my life - one of those things is, that we are adjusting to a new normal, and it is glorious!
When I got that positive pregnancy test back in January, I figured I had 9 months to try to readjust my schedule to accomodate my life as a full-time mom. Little did I know then, that come April, everything would change, and I woud once again have a little one, full time. That's right, Matthew is with us all the time. We have sole custody, and it is fantastic. Long gone are the anxiety filled days (especially Monday's) where I would just wait for the clock to hit 4:15 when I'd have to leave to drop him off with his dad. I would dread that drive, especially the one back home to Milwaukee - I felt so lonely with the empty car seat in the back. My little love, Matthew, is here, and is safe with us every day. I haven't been able to say that since he was 6 months old. I would always wonder what I was missing out on when he was away from me. Did he say a new word? Or learn a new fact? Or go to the zoo for the first time with out his Mama? Who would comfort him when he scraped his knee or fell off his bike?
I have to admit, it has been a little chaotic at times - I've been so used to the schedule of having him for 8 days, then not having him for 6 days (where I would get MOST of my stuff done) - that I had to quickly readjust how I did everything. I cleaned the whole house yesterday morning - a chore that surely will have to be done on the weekends now, especially when Jellybean arrives! I cannot tell you how awesome it feels to wake up on a Monday morning, to a ridiculously clean house, and also knowing that I don't have to make that drive to Kiel anymore. So long are the days where I have to schedule my play dates around the times when Matthew is here, or feel bad about having to miss out on one of his friends birthday's because he wasn't here... Matthew gets to participate in 100% of what's going on here, at home in Milwaukee.
Yesterday morning, Drew said to me... "Matthew is so giggly lately." I responded by saying "I think he feels more comfortable and sure of what to expect in his life right now." Drew agreed. Then I shared what Matthew had said to me early yesterday morning as I was making his pancakes for breakfast. Matthew looked up at me and said "Mom, I like it when I get to stay here. I love you and Daddy Drew so much." Then he hugged me and went about his morning. I had tears in my eyes - and I still do as I write about it now. How greatful I am to have a moment like that with my 4 year old son. How greatful I am that God has given me this gift of having him here with us. Albeit, I wish it were under better circumstances, but as the saying goes - When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade!
Thank you to EVERYONE who has been praying for Matthew, Drew and me and my family. We SO appreciate it all - and we feel the love! Baby Jellybean is growing stronger every day (I am starting to feel those kicks on the outside now!) Another thing to be thankful for.... Next week: Are we Team Pink or Team Blue?!

I'm thinking girl...

I had my 16 week appointment on Tuesday morning. Matthew and my Mom were able to join me. We heard that glorious heartveat again - going strong at 155! While I was pregnant with Matthew, his heartbeat was ALWAYS 140. So, perhaps thats why my instinct is to say girl because of that old wives tale of having a faster heart rate for girls. We'll see in a little over 2 weeks! I was informed my by OB/GYN that we'll be getting a 2D and a 3D ultrasound done with a perinatologist (a doctor specializing in fetal anatomy) and that we'll also be able to record the whole thing onto a DVD. How cool?! Baby's first video! I know it will be amazing, and I absolutely cannot wait. I purchased a "Big Brother" t-shirt for Matthew (on clearance at Kohl's for $5! Woot!) so I'm hoping he'll wear that for the BIG ultrasound! I'm sure he'll grab some attention.
I'm not feeling too creative in terms of writing today, but I just wanted to update you all! Once I have a good story to tell, I'll be sure to elaborate and humor you all here.