Anticipation

I know it's been a couple weeks since I blogged last... I think the anticipation of this baby is driving me batty. I constantly feel like I should be doing something to make sure (double sure) that this house, our family, and myself are all ready to have this baby. Yesterday, I found myself typing out a list of Matthew's "daily routine" and hanging it on the refridgerator for whomever is taking care of him while I'm in the hospital. I guess it's not too crazy now that he's in 4K at a public school, and he needs to get put on the bus at a certain time every morning.... and well, he's Matthew - thrives on routine!
I went to the Dr. yesterday for my 38 week appointment. I'm 2-3 cm. dilated and 80% effaced. Will's head is fully engaged in my pelvis. According to my doctor, I'm "very ready" to have this baby. Well, YEAH! I can feel that I'm ready. Every ounce of my being has waited to meet this baby since I knew I was going to marry and have a family with Drew. Did I mention that I feel like I have knives in my ass? Yeah, the joys of pregnancy... every aspect of them. I'm in pain... a lot of pain. I broke down in tears 2 nights ago because "my ass was on fire" and then again this morning with Matthew because "Mommy's tushy hurts". My sweet boy just hugged me and let me cry a few tears on him. The past few days, he's been making me beds on the couch and covering me with his stuffed animals. He knows just how to make someone feel better.
So this anticipation... everyday I wake up thinking "this could be the day..." but then it's not. I made "Labor Cookies" last week (ginger snaps with cayenne pepper in them that are supposed to kick start labor). The cookies were good. I ate a lot of them. Had consistent contractions for 2 hours. Then, of course, they went away. Everyday I wonder if this is the last day that Matthew and I have together alone. Either way, I'm anxious, excited and oh so eager to meet this little guy! Until then, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I have an easy labor and that our family of 3 becomes a family of 4 sooner rather than later!
I'll keep everyone posted.... send some "good go-into-labor-vibes" to me......