Time to Move!

We have some good news! Drew and I will be homeowners in just less than a month! The day before we celebrated our one year anniversary, we put an offer in on a house in Greenfield. We had planned to spend the weekend of our anniversary in Door County, and were a tad late getting up there because of our decision to put an offer on a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom ranch on a quiet Greenfield subdivision with a HUGE fenced in yard and a swingset for the kiddos to play on. We anxiously awaited to hear back from the owners while we sipped wine at a winery, ate a romantic dinner, spent time in our whirlpool suite at Stone Harbor Resort and shopped in the quaint boutiques of DC. Finally, by Tuesday we accepted the sellers 2nd counter offer. At first the idea seemed a bit surreal... like "are we really doing this NOW?" But as it sets in, we are getting quite excited... All the pieces of our life are settling, and this house signifies how we are charging ahead in our life together in Milwaukee. Undoubtedly, leaving our duplex in Glendale will be bittersweet. Bitter because we'll be leaving the place where we first started our life... together. I keep joking to Drew that someday we'll drive our kids past it and tell them "this is where Mommy and Daddy and Matthew first lived" - a ritual I grew up with in my family - where my parents took us on "Magical Mystery tours" of Milwaukee every single time we were in the city. And actually, I believe they took my sister-in-law Bethany on one last summer when she was in Milwaukee...see, they never get old for Arlie and Mary Jo! :-) However, leaving Glendale will be sweet because we will finally have a place to call our own... and this house is where we will bring home our babies - where our family will continue to grow. And I can't wait for that.

Sometimes the pain is worth it in the end.

I’m guilty of it again…how long has it been since my last post? Almost a month?! But I have a good reason, and although I truly do not want to go into a lot of details, I feel that I am ready to talk about and that it will do me a lot of good to talk about it here... which is the point of this right? Recently, our family suffered a bit of a tragedy – nothing that we weren’t capable of pulling thru, but difficult nonetheless. Throughout the last 5 years of my life, I have become accustomed to difficult times in my life: losing both of my grandpa’s within 10 months of each other…. Adultry. Divorce. Custody battles. And now... Miscarriage.
Let me say that I truly believe that I am a strong person on the inside. I have my moments of weakness and I would consider myself an emotional, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of woman, but I am proof of the saying “Whatever doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.” There are times where I literally couldn’t think about how I would get through a particular “tragedy” – but with help, trust in God and a lot of support, I did. Out of every one of these tragedies, I also tried my best to look for the silver lining: the “something good” that came out of that situation. Some were easy to find, others were not. When my Grandpa Dhuey unexpectedly passed away a mere 2 weeks after I gave birth to Matthew, my whole family was devastated. However, since that difficult time, I have never been closer to my cousin Kati. In fact, we despised each other as we went thru our pre-teen and teenage years. But the death of our Grandpa brought us closer together. It might have been the moment as the six cousins carried his casket out into the zero degree January weather. (Picture this: Kati, a 5 foot petite woman in high heels in front of me. Then me, a postpartum new-mom, overcome with tears and also instructed not to lift anything heavier than my 8lb. baby, then my sister behind me telling me I shouldn’t be lifting anything and to “fake it”. At one point, even through all the tears, we all started laughing at the silly picture we must have painted for everyone as we carried out Grandpa. It must have been grandpa bringing us all together at that moment, and I know he is with me everyday cheering me on… ) It was almost as if, from that moment, Kati and I continued to get closer… as we stood up in each other’s weddings, shared stories about raising a boy, and she just recently told me that I’m the “back-up” labor coach should (God forbid) anything happen to Brandon. The tragedy of losing Grandpa brought us to be friends, as well as cousins - and I know that he is smiling down on us from heaven, proud of the fact that we overcame our differences to love each other again.
Part of the silver lining in my divorce was the fact that I learned to be an independent woman, supporting herself (and a young child). But undoubtedly, the biggest one, was to not be married to someone who continued to cause me the most pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I still have to somehow deal with the guy on a weekly basis… but that’s a whole other story… perhaps another blog someday. Divorce causes you such horrible pain no matter how badly you want to be out of the marriage... however, here I am - 27 and happily married again. This wouldn't have happened had I not had the courage to get out of that marriage and go through a painful divorce.
This recent tragedy was really hard. I wouldn't wish a miscarriage upon anyone. God gives you a life to grow, but then it’s taken away from you. I have learned to be grateful for the life I was given iinside of me… even if his life only lasted a few short weeks. The days immediately following, I have never felt closer to my husband. The pain we were both feeling was evident and we pulled together as a couple and got through those first gut wrenching days. I was able to spend a wonderful day with my mother-in-law, Dianna. Although I know I was quiet for a lot of the day, it was comforting to have her there with me, and that day will be something that I will share with her forever. My sister-in-law called countless times to makes sure I was doing okay, and then sent me a couple books to read as I start the 6-8 week waiting game. My parents sent me flowers, and my mom made sure there were gerber daisies in the vase as she knows it’s a symbol of Drew and me. This tragedy has brought me closer to these people, and it has also reminded me of how fortunate I am to have the family that I have in my life. There are many people in the world that are not as fortunate. A pregnancy was taken away from me, but I was given wonderful support and unconditional love in return. Perhaps that’s what God gives us when we experience tragedies in our lives. I know that when I'm holding my next child in my arms (a product of Drew and me) it will somehow make the pain I am feeling now completely worth it in the end.
As my husband always says... onward and upward. Cheers to what God has in store for us!