... and Baby kicks Daddy (finally!)

Yep! Daddy finally felt Baby Will's first kick last night. I think Drew was pretty darn excited about it too. I knew it was going to happen soon because Will's kicks have gotten so much stronger the last few days. I've been down and out with bronchitis and sinus infection that my Doctor diagnosed me with on Monday. I was put on 2 antibiotics and sent home to rest. Thankfully Drew stayed home from work on Monday to care for Matthew, so I could sleep and recooperate. I don't know what I would have done had he not been here! Even though I was taking Tylenol every 4 hours, along with cough medicine and my antibiotics, Will gave me no reason to worry how he was doing.... he was kicking me NON-STOP all day on Monday. Perhaps I just noticed it more since I was pretty immobile lying in bed, but even when I was sleeping, I was subconciously feeling his little kicks in my belly. So I told Drew yesterday at dinnertime that he's been kicking pretty hard, and that I was pretty certain that he'd be able to feel a kick or two VERY soon. And low and behold, as we were sitting on the couch later that evening, I felt a big kick, and told Drew to stick his hand on my belly... and there it was again! I think Drew was a bit shocked, as his daily attempts to feel those kicks were disappointing him the last 2 weeks. But finally... Baby kicks his Daddy. Now lets hope I can get big brother Matthew to hold his hand on my tummy long enough to feel a kick....

Dr. Moyer, how I miss you!

Well, I had my 20 week prenatal appointment yesterday... and my new OBGYN here in Milwaukee said that I'm up 18 pounds at the half way mark, which makes me on the road to gaining 40 pounds. I thought to myself "Ok, good! Better than my last pregnancy with Matthew!" Then she went on to say that she thinks that it's on the high end... Eeek. Her little lecture about how to "watch my weight going forward, but that some women do and still gain the weight regardless" still made me want to start crying. I then explained to her that with Matthew, I had gained 50 pounds while pregnant, and that my OBGYN (Dr. Moyer in Green Bay) never mentioned that he had a problem with it, and always told me that it wasn't something to worry about. I KNOW that I eat fairly decent, and that I get exercise with my Fit Mama Salsa Dance workout DVD (and also walks with Matthew).... so what the hell? Why can't all OBGYN's be like Dr. Moyer? Oh, how I miss him! He was such a wonderful Dr.

After my appointment, Matthew and I headed to the park for a picnic and some playtime with my lovely friends, Shannon and Brittny, and their kids. As I started complaining to them about my appoinment, I thought I was going to start crying - Thankfully, I didn't, but that's probably because Shannon's hubby, Naif, was there, and that'd probably make me feel even more ridiculous. So, naturally, what do real friends do? They comfort me by telling me that they too, had gained 40-50 pounds in each of their pregnancies, and also shared their stories of their Doctors "scolding" them about their weight. And again, this morning, my good (& pregnant)friend Sarah gave me a high five when I told her, because she had gained the same amount by her 20 week point a few weeks ago... AND that her Dr. had also said something to her about watching her weight. So, is it just the norm for most OBGYN's to say something to make us feel guilty? And did I just get lucky to have such a laidback Doctor the first time around? I don't know... After this vent, I'm going to stop worrying about it. The most important thing is that Will is healthy. And I know that I do eat fairly well, and am active on most days. However, I am going to make a regular schedule of my Salsa Dance and Prenatal Yoga... I think Matthew gets a kick out of watching me do it anyways...

Anyways, here's the first picure of my pregnant belly that I'm posting on my blog... Yeah, with all that extra 18 pounds too.

I almost forgot! Happy Cinco de Mayo! Have a margarita for me this year!

Oh BOY, was this Mama wrong!

We're having a baby BOY!!! I can hardly believe it yet... I'm going to be the Mama of TWO boys! It's all so very exciting - I'm so happy that Matthew will get to have a brother to play with (and I'm sure, to wrestle with, eventually). And best of all, Baby is HEALTHY. He's got ten little fingers and ten little toes... a good strong heart, kidneys, spine and skull... and he did not hesitate at all to show us his boy parts. He must be proud of his manhood already! Our ultrasound was in 2D, as well as 4D, so we got some amazing video of him. We caught him on camera smiling at all of us. It was so incredible!

We've already picked out his name. He will be named after Drew's Grandpa, as well as Drew. And now, the Zimmerman name will go on...
Here he is... our new little love.

William Andrew Zimmerman

A new normal

Well, I'm sure a lot of you have waited for me to post about SOMETHING relevant to what's going on in my life right now. Anyone that really knows me, knows that some big things have been occuring lately- and for those of you that don't, all you need to do is Google Matthew's dad's name to understand all what we are dealing with at the moment.
I am NOT going to write about my ex-husband though. I choose to focus and reflect on the positive things in my life - one of those things is, that we are adjusting to a new normal, and it is glorious!
When I got that positive pregnancy test back in January, I figured I had 9 months to try to readjust my schedule to accomodate my life as a full-time mom. Little did I know then, that come April, everything would change, and I woud once again have a little one, full time. That's right, Matthew is with us all the time. We have sole custody, and it is fantastic. Long gone are the anxiety filled days (especially Monday's) where I would just wait for the clock to hit 4:15 when I'd have to leave to drop him off with his dad. I would dread that drive, especially the one back home to Milwaukee - I felt so lonely with the empty car seat in the back. My little love, Matthew, is here, and is safe with us every day. I haven't been able to say that since he was 6 months old. I would always wonder what I was missing out on when he was away from me. Did he say a new word? Or learn a new fact? Or go to the zoo for the first time with out his Mama? Who would comfort him when he scraped his knee or fell off his bike?
I have to admit, it has been a little chaotic at times - I've been so used to the schedule of having him for 8 days, then not having him for 6 days (where I would get MOST of my stuff done) - that I had to quickly readjust how I did everything. I cleaned the whole house yesterday morning - a chore that surely will have to be done on the weekends now, especially when Jellybean arrives! I cannot tell you how awesome it feels to wake up on a Monday morning, to a ridiculously clean house, and also knowing that I don't have to make that drive to Kiel anymore. So long are the days where I have to schedule my play dates around the times when Matthew is here, or feel bad about having to miss out on one of his friends birthday's because he wasn't here... Matthew gets to participate in 100% of what's going on here, at home in Milwaukee.
Yesterday morning, Drew said to me... "Matthew is so giggly lately." I responded by saying "I think he feels more comfortable and sure of what to expect in his life right now." Drew agreed. Then I shared what Matthew had said to me early yesterday morning as I was making his pancakes for breakfast. Matthew looked up at me and said "Mom, I like it when I get to stay here. I love you and Daddy Drew so much." Then he hugged me and went about his morning. I had tears in my eyes - and I still do as I write about it now. How greatful I am to have a moment like that with my 4 year old son. How greatful I am that God has given me this gift of having him here with us. Albeit, I wish it were under better circumstances, but as the saying goes - When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade!
Thank you to EVERYONE who has been praying for Matthew, Drew and me and my family. We SO appreciate it all - and we feel the love! Baby Jellybean is growing stronger every day (I am starting to feel those kicks on the outside now!) Another thing to be thankful for.... Next week: Are we Team Pink or Team Blue?!

I'm thinking girl...

I had my 16 week appointment on Tuesday morning. Matthew and my Mom were able to join me. We heard that glorious heartveat again - going strong at 155! While I was pregnant with Matthew, his heartbeat was ALWAYS 140. So, perhaps thats why my instinct is to say girl because of that old wives tale of having a faster heart rate for girls. We'll see in a little over 2 weeks! I was informed my by OB/GYN that we'll be getting a 2D and a 3D ultrasound done with a perinatologist (a doctor specializing in fetal anatomy) and that we'll also be able to record the whole thing onto a DVD. How cool?! Baby's first video! I know it will be amazing, and I absolutely cannot wait. I purchased a "Big Brother" t-shirt for Matthew (on clearance at Kohl's for $5! Woot!) so I'm hoping he'll wear that for the BIG ultrasound! I'm sure he'll grab some attention.
I'm not feeling too creative in terms of writing today, but I just wanted to update you all! Once I have a good story to tell, I'll be sure to elaborate and humor you all here.

I heart my chiroprator!

For the last several weeks, I've been plagued with HORRIBLE headaches. Tylenol and caffeine wouldn't touch them. Laying down didn't really seem to help either. They had really just begun right as I entered my 2nd trimester in mid-March. So I did some research online (as I was getting desperate for some relief!) and low and behold, several articles recommended the use of a chiropractor for headache relief.
A little background: I've been seeing mine for about 18 months now, after I suffered a horrible pinched nerve in my back - which got so painful one day, that I couldn't breathe and had to call Drew home from work to get me into the car. At that point, my chiropractor had taken X-Rays and had told me how my 1st pregnancy with Matthew had really taken it's toll on my back, which was causing my problems. Ever since then, I've seen him regularly and my back pain has gotten alot better.
So, this past Monday, I was desperate to get rid of the headache from Sunday, so I called my chiropractor and Matthew and I made our way into his office on Monday afternoon. Once on the table, "Dr. Jim the Back Doctor" (as Matthew calls him) could immediately feel knots in my upper back, along with a lot of tightness going up through my neck. He cracked my back a few times, he cracked my neck a few more times... and WALLA! Just like that, my headache was gone. I wanted to frickin' hug the guy! I hadn't seen him since before my birthday a few weeks ago... which was also the week that Drew and I had had a "sleepover" in Matthew's new double bunk bed. That nights sleep (on a mattress that wasn't my own Euro-top mattress) was horrible and I suffered from a huge headache that entire next day. That must have been the culprit.
I'm so relieved to have not had a headache the last 2 days.... believe in the power of the "The Back Doctor"

Restored Faith

I feel like this post is going to be really cheesey... but it's honestly something I have been thinking about since Drew and I decided to start trying to concieve a baby.... and last night, as Drew was lying in bed with me, touching my belly he asked me, "So, do you like being pregnant?" I responded with "Yes, of course I do, and even more so now that I'm feeling a bit better and I'm not sick anymore... because that was really hard to feel so yucky." Then I moved on to describe to him what I'm about to describe to you all, in the best way that I can... I hope it makes sense.

This baby has really brought me some restored faith. Restored faith in what unconditional love is, and to WANT to create a life together because of that love. I can't even tell you how "cool" it is to me to have the baby that Drew and I created together growing inside of me. Drew and I have loved each other for such a long time. WAY longer than we have been together. The day I met him in October of 2000, I knew there was something about him that I just adored. And that "something" was not easy to shake... it stayed with me all through the last 10 years, and is still with me today. My husband is not perfect.... he gets on my nerves, and makes me angry (and I admittedly do the same to him, I'm sure). But above anything else, we love each other.... and we work hard to create a good life that we're both happy in.

Rewind 5 years ago... I found out I was prenant with Matthew, and I was no doubt, SO excited. I had always wanted to be a mother and at the time "thought" that Matthew's dad was the one I was supposed to create children with. Thought is the key word there. I really didn't believe it. We were not ready in our relationship to become parents. I was alone for alot of my pregnancy... I was not in the marriage I had hoped for, and it was disappointing. For so long, I felt that it was just Matthew and me... we were the team - which is partially why I adore him so much. The mother/son bond that we have helped me get through so much pain that I experienced. Those years where it was just him and me, created the unique bond that I will always have with him. He will always be my first "baby".

Fast forward 5 years, to now. Drew and I have a relationship that from the very beginning in those college dorm-days, has been built on friendship. What's better than to be married to a best friend? Don't get me wrong, we have the passion, and physical attraction... but first and foremost, we are friends... and now we are going to bring a life into this world that represents US. It's almost surreal to me! Whenever I feel a little kick or a flutter, I think to myself "This is OUR baby!" And it feels so right. And I believe in what it means to create a life out of unconditional love. It's another piece to my journey in finding restored faith... in what it is to have a good life.

So, for fun... here's us when were a mere 19 years old. Where this unconditional love started...

And the day we made the committment to keep that unconditional love going...